Shark tanks

Dragon's Den in drag, M-Net's Shark Tank is all pussycat with no bite. The five entrepreneurs don't ask penetrating questions for informed info to back budding entrepreneurs on this Sunday 6pm DStv show. I wonder if they actually have cash to flash. Little research has gone into the show. Most participants pitching for partners are white. Most entrepreneurs making decisions are male. A sorry show!

SAFFRON TV

Rocky and Mayur are two oily-looking men in search of fast cuisine in any part of India in Highway on my Plate. I am watching them shortly before noon, SA, GMT on Saffron TV an Avusa owned channel on DStv Indian, 456. There's no programme guide or start and finish times. As the info says: "in consequence of the fact that the channel has not provided a schedule, MultiChoice is unable to provide EPG information on this channel".

Ouch, the sign has been here for more than a week now so don't be surprised if the chasm between the channel and platform provider gets wider and you suddenly see Saffron migrating to TopTV which co-incidentally has three North and one South Indian Channel for R60 and Zee cinema as part of the general bouquet. (Like only 75% off the DStv price).

And so the internet reveals Highway on My plate guys are starring in the first season of Jai Hind with a focus on the armed forces. This indicates we could see much action from these foodies. Not just mouth action.

Thrown in on this episode of the NDTV-made show on Saffron is the cuisine: raw salad, rotis, dhall, raj mahal. Under tents with the men and the women of the Airforce Academy. Getting down and dirty as they generally do the food looks appetising but the locale as per usual diarhrea-inducing. Pass the lomotil.

SONY

Slipping into high revv on set Sony Entertainment Television (Asia) at 12 noon on channel 450 is Dostana, which sees Bollywood come of age with a gay-themed flick. Kiron Kher's mother character (Mrs Archarya) accepts the dishy Kunal Chauhan (John Abrahams) as a bride for her boy Sameer (Abishek) Bachchan giving him her gold bangles et al while she plays Khabi Khushie Kabhie Gham in the background. Hilarious piece of cinema in a story about friendship and citizenship a la I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry.

CNN

CLOSE by on channel 401 on Piers Morgan Tonight on CNN Pastor Osteen tells Morgan his Christian beliefs won't allow him to condone homosexuality but he'd attend the wedding of friends because of his respect for the individual. The pastor with a perpetual smile on his face is here to promote his new book Make Every day A Friday. Morgan, former editor on News of the World, exposed for tapping illegally into cellphones of the stars, can be incisive as an interviewer. Even if he comes across as inexperienced when compared to predecessor talk show dino Larry King. Give him 50 years.

TV Watch! Monday, 3 October 2011

Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares USA

6.49am to 7.36am, BBC Lifestyle channel 180 - DStv

Hugely entertaining look at the kitchens of the US and food colonialist Gordon Ramsay off to save the world. Warning: this series could put you off restaurants.

VH1

Oops, now am on VH1, not MTV, Is this Westlife with Barry Manilow's Mandy. Mmmm, less whinyyyyyy

Beloved Al-Aqsa - Islam Channel (DStv 347)

Beloved Al-Aqsa ON NOW, features a most highpitched presenter in erudite conversation with you the viewer. Despite his quirky accent, he is animated and informative on arguably the 3rd most Holiest Site in Islam.  FB: DiStv Views

Beloved Al-Aqsa - Islam Channel (DStv 347)

Beloved Al-Aqsa ON NOW, features a most highpitched presenter in erudite conversation with you the viewer. Despite his quirky accent, he is animated and informative on arguably the 3rd most Holiest Site in Islam.  FB: DiStv Views